Death of a Parent

It was 2.45am.Woke up from a bad dream, and it seems all the weight of the world was going to crash on me. Having bad dream, that was something, seeing my father died in my dream, that was something else. And for once I was scared beyond limits. That was almost two weeks ago, forgetting the dream was going to do me some good. I gained admission into college and I started feeling good, but once in while the sense that something was about to be taken away from me, kept creeping upon me like a disease's, I had no idea of how it's going to be, but I know it's coming up on me fast, something like an hurricane. The last time I heard, Dad was still doing fine. As healthy as a horse. Learning was going on fine, I was about writing a test, when the urge to go home came on, well I had to, and I did. Got home and Dad was still doing fine, mom was out of town to see her Sister. We got talking and has he talked, I kept looking at him, like this was going to be our last talk.


We all slept that night, after a nice meal my sister helped preparing. Went to my room, prayed and slept. Mom came back, before I woke up the next morning. Collected some money from Dad, dropped me at the park, and I was off to school. He said good-bye and I thought it was going to be forever. Well it wasn't. The semester was over, and I went home. Dad was still around. I felt I was going crazy like I wanted him Dead. Something tells me, I was going to be the end of him. Maybe I'm being over-protective. And the though of him dead is something, I can't live with. Friday was my Birthday, it wasn't that big, just the family and few friends around, Ann was around, a girl I was asking out. For once I had forgotten of my wired behavior, it was like mom noticed it too. Hope she wasn't hiding anything. It was during the dance, suddenly Dad slumped into the ground. That was it. Doctors said, his health has been failing for a while now, he wasn't trying to get his family worried. I think that was selfish of him. Come to think of it, I was trying to protect someone, who knew his game was over. That night I was at the hospital with him .Drips all over him, with so other wires, whose destination into his body I cant say where. Relatives and friends came over, seeing them got him back on the track. We all though he will be getting out soon. Doctors confirmed it. My fears debugged the fact, that he will be coming home. I guess not. I was suppose to get something in school, and come back the next day. Got a phone call from my brother. The old man just left the building. Arrived home that night ,went straight to see Mom in her room, she was weak, I guess the amount of tears that left her body made her weak, a part of Dad also left with them. The Funeral ceremony was not that much, he wanted it that way. Still I hadn't shed a tear, but it all came flooding when he was being lowered into his final resting abode. I felt a sense of deja-vu then. My nightmare was now my reality. His death made me worse than I was, at the same time made a better person. At times I wondered could I have stopped him from falling off this world Into his present dark place. No I guess it was meant to be. The huge space he left, could never be filled. Mom was trying to be strong. I hope she is not trying too much. It's been a year now. And at the one-year anniversary I felt he could have saved himself if only he wanted to .But then I realized he gave up on living before .he gave up the ghost. Now I all could think about him was why did he do it .I don't even get to see him in my dreams, like my other siblings do .I guess he is trying to see enough for me. He is gone physically. But I still believe he is still with me. Only wished I never had that dream, that I never slept that night. And more important .He did not gave up on his family. Guess it was meant to be. His death gave me a new meaning to Life.