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Saturday, January 19, 2008

ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO BE A GOOD FATHER.

Now that is if any damage has not been done to the fabrics of family-hood and if even done if it has affected its DNA and destroying its main structure. The role a father in a family is more than just more than providing the basic needs of the family and making babies ,he is the emotional financial spiritual and physical head of the family, all what goes on in the family still boils down to him ,being at the receiving end of the family's dirt. Well apart from that the I never had a promising father myself, he tried teaching me to be a man at an early age, giving me all the basic rules he tried so much it got to a point he started failing, not because he wanted to but because he thought he could only make me better, simply because I was the unimproved version of him, the inexperienced side of what he was, all he wants was to make me a better person that himself, allowing me to succeed where he failed, cross those bridges he failed to cross in life, but in the end I only became a mixed creature of hard lessons and tough love.

Whether good or not we of the male side of life human race will get to that stage one day when we will find ourselves as fathers to others ,when we play roles that conflict with our basic principles, when we have to try so hard we will end up bending those rules we think are unbreakable. The father tries so hard to get his little one to open up to him but its like each step he takes to reach the child, he drives him back to his mother's love or someone who he thinks can do better than the father. the child is now left with no option but to just see the man leaving with his mother not as his father but as just someone he thinks might be his father if only he tries harder .But is it ever too late to be a good dad. My father was someone I really respected, but I could not say that I loved him, I guess I loved him so much I feared him too much. I tried reaching out to my kids bit I guess the more I tried the more I get farer away from them I could remember the time I took Tom{my last son) to a basketball game as we were watching the game he kept looking at my face to see if I was really into the game as he was, but honestly I was far away from the game centre itself ,my boss gave me a query that day and the light of getting fired was shinning brightly at my face, tom saw it clearly I was not there with him, even though I was sitting beside him physically I was far away from him, I was in the middle of this when I heard the crowd shouting Tom's team just scored a point ,I then realised it was game over and he told me his team won, on our way home that night he only asked me two question that left me thinking through out the week, he ask "Dad where we you during the game" as if I was not with him but he I knew what he was saying .Days later he went out with a neighbour to see the finals of the game he got home smiling with a winning cap on his head jumping around I could only guess that his team won the game, he later came up to him and said "its good to see you waiting up for me" to him I think he just said it was good you were not at the game with me. His sister was trying to quit college and go to a fashion school in New-york I wanted her to be a Lawyer because really she's gat all what it takes to be a good Attorney but all she wants is to get into that fashion school that has become the foundations of her fantasy, she used to be my pretty plumy baby, but in just a night, a simple father-daughter argument turn out be a cold war between us, she woke the next morning to be my mother-in-law{did not really like her because she thought her daughter was too good for me},then I realised I am about losing my little baby to a law school she never wanted to attend, it now dawned on me that its better to have my way than to lose her to a world she's not prepared for, I had to bend my so called principles and allow her to get into her fashion school thank God i did what I did then I still have her love and trust till now. I guess my father would have been the millennium father I wanted him to be if the grim reaper had not reaped him off his family tree, now I guess it was too late for him to be a good father he was trying to be. But now as I journey through this path of life I would try my best to be that good image he was trying to be, he tried so hard I made him fail. But to me he never failed he wasn't just going to stop tying. But really is it ever too late to be good father?

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