THE JACOBS FACTOR

Do you know the greatest challenge we have as humans? I want you to seriously think about it and give yourself some moment away from your work station to really reflect on this. Every time I think of this challenge, I think of Jacob. Jacob is the regular guy from the bible who upon facing this basic human challenge was able to rebrand himself from Jacob to Israel. Jacob left his father's house with nothing and returned with 2 wives, 2 concubines, 11 children and a massive wealth and economic portfolio. Though it took him 20 years to achieve this result, he achieved it nonetheless after overcoming this basic human hindrance.

In this contemporary time, we would say Jacob lived a Jewish dream just like most young men in Nigeria leave their father's house or father's country to seek for their Nigerian dream. Every dream has an economic imprint to it; the dream then becomes more substantiated if the person attained this economical progress through doing what he truly enjoys doing. Jay Jay Okocha is a living proof of a true Nigerian dream and was honored for it 2 days ago with a novel match. Not all dreams are accompanied with fame but you can imagine Okocha doing what some people consider as a hobby and making economic progress with it.

If we look deep to what we consider as a hobby, therein lies what we truly enjoy doing. What we truly enjoy doing is thus not necessary a sequential or regulated task we must accomplish in order to get emolument but a state of euphoria and joy when we tackle a project. This state of euphoria and joy is thus a state of being our true selves. The greatest challenge we have as human being is being our true selves. It is difficult for most people to discover their identity and align themselves to it. Some people are able to discover who they are but the difficulty lies in staying true to who they are.

Doing what you truly enjoy doing is your creative self expression; it is being who you are truly designed to be; it is where your unlimited power is tapped from; it is a life of freedom – a life where possibilities overrides limitations. It's a state that can be intuitively recognized and guided by deep rooted desire. Pablo Picasso – a foremost painter/artist – gives us a hint into what it is like to align ourselves to our true nature:

«I don't know in advance what I am going to put on canvass anymore than I decide before hand what color I am going to use. While I am working, I am not conscious of what I am putting on the canvass. Each time I undertake to paint a picture, I have a sensation of leaping into space; I never know whether I shall fall on my feet. It is only later that I begin to estimate more exactly the effect of my work»

Just like Pablo Picasso mentioned above; whenever he wants to do what he truly enjoys doing, he is not conscious of the outcome and he leaps into space. Pablo Picasso is not governed by time but the possibility of his accomplishments. The time space continuum seizes to exist when you are in the flow of your true nature. Have you ever been involved in a task that you lost track of the time; you were literarily dragged away from it. It is like a deep sleep where you are not conscious of the environment. If you have ever been «in love» with a lady/man; you will understand this state of being your true self.

Look at Jay Jay Okocha; you can see the smile in his face when he loses an important direct kick and we can attest to his ability to experiment on the field of play. No matter how serious the match is, Jay Jay would always align to his true self. Jay jay's true self is not football like most people describe their true self by what they do. When I hear someone say «I am born to be a doctor or I am a diehard writer»; I can't help but smile at such ignorance because those profession or career line are simply a platform of expression. Jay Jay is a creative personality who can express his creativity best in the profession of football.

This is the cross that we mostly don't understand because Jay Jay expresses himself best in football does not mean he is born a footballer. If Jay Jay was born into a home filled with academia, Jay Jay may have been professional writer authoring many text books; his environment played a big role in his platform of expression. This is where the concept of providence comes to play; God places us in an environment because God believes that environment would align us to our true self expression. While most people have blamed their environment for their lack of success, others have used their environment as a fulcrum of success.

The Williams sisters are tennis champions because of their African American heritage; this should ordinarily be a hindrance to tennis championship but it is what drove them to be extraordinary. If Mandela was born in the United States, I am sure the world would not be celebrating his 90 years birthday. Mahatma Gandhi became legendary because he was an Indian citizen. Our true self and finding the best place to express our true self lies in the environment we find our self.

So many people extol my writing prowess and I tell those who care to listen that I am not such a great writer; I simply write as a platform of expression. I know my writing skill have improved a lot from when I started putting time and energy into writing; for my professor in school to recommend my paper to the Swedish Environmental Board, I definitely know I have improved my writing considerably. I was not always good in writing in fact writing was my Achilles heel; most courses I did not do well in my undergraduate days was because I could not construct words properly. I used to loathe anything that has to do with writing but now writing is a platform to express my growth passion and love for empowerment.

This is the foundation of Jacob's cross; expressing who you are in a dedicated platform. Jacob was a blessed man; whichever platform he engaged in, he was going to do the unfathomable. His partnership with his uncle Laban will give us insight into how to succeed financially in an uphill world. Jacob was already skilled in the arts of taking care of sheep before getting to his uncles house. His uncle noticed his good works and offered to pay him for it. Jacob instead demanded to work 7 years for his uncle's daughter Rachel. In working for any organization, working for time will never make you financially free especially if your aim is to have one position or the other like Manager, Senior Manager, etc.

Jacob's aim was Rachel and just like any other entrepreneur; they never live up to their promises until you give them more of your time. They dangle another offer your way, keeping you from your dream offer in order to buy more of your time. Jacob worked 14 years to secure his dream position and after attaining this dream, he was still financially impoverished. I can imagine many people who have waited longer than expected for promotions, salary raise, official car, etc and they keep getting disappointed. As they keep praying and waiting for this position, time is going and they gain nothing from it.

After Jacob attained the position he was looking for, he realized he had been chasing the wind. 14 years of his life slaving for someone without knowing who he was. Jacob decided to leave the organization and see what Laban the entrepreneur said «I will pay you more money for your time.» I have seen so many people stick to an organization because the entrepreneur is paying them more money. They know they are no longer aligned to the organization and their spirit and soul is no longer in the work but they stay because of the promise of more money.

Laban said something to Jacob that woke him up and made him understand who he truly was: «for a fortune teller that I consulted told me that many blessings I have been enjoying are all because of your being here. How much of a raise do you need to get you stay? Whatever it is, I will pay it.» This was news to Jacob just like most people in this world do not know their worth. He realized he was pivotal to the success of Laban but he should ordinarily have known this since he received the power of success from his father.

Jacob understanding himself decided to work for percentage instead of time. Remember for 14 years of working, he was still in the rat race; paying house rent, paying school fees, paying mortgage, changing car, occasionally travelling but he had no real economic power. After the decision to work for percentage, he became richer than Laban in six years; the speckled and the spotted sheep coming from all black sheep was something he has always known but he just put it to work after discovering himself. Despite the fact that Laban changed the rules many times, he was able to beat Laban to the game.

Understanding who you are and aligning yourself to it is the greatest good you can do to humanity. You encourage others who are afraid to take this path to do it. You will be able to FIRE YOUR BOSS by getting the proper respect you deserve. You will be able to make right judgments in investments and other important matter. I know money is a big factor that hinders people from being who they were designed to be but listen to what a billionaire film producer said; «Anyone who thinks money will make him happy hasn't got money; happy is harder than money.» I will end this particular message with what Steve Jobs (billionaire founder of Apple Computers) said:

«For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: if today were the last day of my life, would I do what I am about to do today? And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change

Abortion

I remembered an intimate situation I found myself 3 weeks ago and I decided to share it with my dear readers on the premise that it might be useful to someone;

I got out of my BMW on this fateful day when a brand new Avensis swept past me to park in front of me in my office garage. I tried to peep into the front car and I was amazed to see my former colleague nodding steadily obviously in tune with music blaring out of his CD. He had just moved from Glo to a bank; immediately he saw me, the glass of the car automatically wound down and an uncontrollable splash of air conditioning breezed through my already frigid skin. He immediately invited me to have a ride in his new car but our conversation was obstructed by my other colleagues who rushed for his attention.

I was immediately jealous and I felt so down that I hurriedly walked away from the scene to my office toilet. On closing the door to the toilet, I could not control the anger I felt as they kept pouring out. I immediately comported myself as the following conversation ensued between God and me;

Me: Why God? I have been praying for a promotion, but you have not done it.
God: Is there anything too hard for me to do?

Me: No, I suppose but you seem to favor some people over me.
God: Those that compare themselves are not wise.
Me: Please, how do I gauge my progress in life? I am not comparing myself, I am praying for something I need.
God: Then what are you doing feeling sorry for yourself. I have given you various opportunities to be promoted but you did not take them.

Me: What?
God: Remember, when I told you about the «automated routing» you were to propose to your boss but you ignored it.

Me: I did not know you were the one speaking to me.
God: You did, but you ignored it because you were afraid of how it will come out.

Me: Yes, I was afraid of being rebuked but I did not know it was you. If I knew, I would have boldly stood up because I could never disobey you.

God: Remember, your undergraduate days when you had a hunch to read some particular part of your physics note and exactly all the things you read came out; that was your first A on the campus. Am I right?
Me: Yes, God. Was that you?
God: Remember, your first day at Student Christian Movement fellowship and you felt at peace with the environment though you were a Moslem.
Me: Yes, were you the one?
God: Remember, when you finally broke up with your first fiancée. Who comforted you?
Me: I was traumatized Lord, that was no comfort.
God: You soul was shattered but your spirit was intact, this was necessary for maturity.
Me: Okay God, you speak in various ways.
God: No, I speak to you in patterns you understand; they may come in various forms but my sheep know my voice.

Me: What am I to do now?
God: I give seed to the sower- meaning anybody that is actively sowing seeds; I don't give the fruits.
Me: But I pay my tithe and give offerings in church.
God: Giving offerings and paying your tithe is commendable but I am talking about some other forms of seeds. I do not owe any man; when last were u sick? When last did you quarrel? When last did you have an accident?

Me: I am very sorry Lord, but I don't understand. What can I do to be promoted like my colleague?
God: You do not know what you ask for. Can you drink of the same wine he drinks from or be baptized with baptism he is baptized with?
Me: Yes Lord, I can.
God: That means you are willing to sleep for only 2 hours in a day. You are willing to write various business proposals and see them thrown to the drain by various investors until you can get it right. You are willing to invest your life savings in high risk ventures and lose it various times till you get it right. You are willing to look at your wife in the face, and put her money in places you are not comfortable with.
Me: No God, that's too much.
God: This is why you should not compare yourself with others but compete with yourself to reach the goals I give to you.
Me: Okay, I understand.
God: I have given you everything that pertains to life and Godliness. You aborted the idea I gave you, if you had obeyed the idea irrespective of your boss compliance, I would have led you to a higher dimension with me. If Abraham had aborted my ideas, there would not have been an Israel. If Jesus had aborted the idea of not dieing, I doubt I will be talking to you today. The light afflictions you are facing now are going to work out for your eternal glory.
Me: Oh God, I am very sorry for aborting the plan you gave me?
God: Do not despise the days of little beginning. Just like I told Moses; the rod he used in tending for his father-in-law sheep is the same rod that he used in delivering the Israelites. The way David looked after his fathers' sheep conscientiously is the same way I knew he will take care of my people when I make him King. So Dipo, whatever is in your hand, do it with all your heart.
Me: Ok Lord, I will.

God: Do not abort this idea, they are for generations unborn……………...

NOTE: All these conversation with God took place over a period of time.

Reasons why Females get Hurt.

I wonder why I keep putting off the sequel to the piece «LOVE WAN TITI» despite my readers craving to see the conclusion. Well to tell the truth, I have not been sleeping well so I have lost all effort to write. I forced myself to sleep at 3.00am this morning after entertaining myself with the DVD - 24, Season 5. The film was so gripping that I forgot the time and the fact that I had to work the next day. I was immediately awoken at 6.00a.m to do my normal chores before bolting to work when this article I am about to write came to me

Self Centeredness

Most females enter relationship (consciously, subconsciously or unconsciously) with a self centered motive. No wonder comments like «he has not asked me to marry him and I have let go of other suitors», «all men are bad», «I have feelings for that guy and he is not asking me out», etc. Since females are crammed and mostly stuck on relationship issues, it suffices to say that they make no effort to understand the male counterpart. If the male counterpart does not meet their preferences, they get worried unnecessarily and develop a pattern of helplessness. They fail to see their contribution in the whole relationship problem and continue casting blame. This in itself is one of the greatest issues of relationship amidst other self imposed vices.

Openness in Communication

Females have a firm belief that they are wired naturally not be open in dealing with their male counterparts. Imagine a female going steady with a guy for 3 years and expecting to get married without voicing her intentions. Why spend 3 years with a guy and you can not tell him how you feel? Why believe that you will lose something by speaking openly with a guy you intend to marry? The only thing you will lose is pride and fear. My dear females, you are not wired to be closed, you chose to be closed because you are afraid of the outcome of being open.

The Weakling Mentality

Females actually believe they are the weaker sex so they allow the man define their happiness. The cultural conditioning gives them this «I need to be pampered and taken care of» mentality. Truth the told, you are created to be a help-meet to a man not to be pampered by a man. You may not be as physically strong as a man but you have a stronger influence. What you lack, you are compensated by other sense of strength. Females fail to maximize their potential for the good of the relationship but sit back defining set of roles for themselves.

A female friend complained to me that she has been slapped by her husband and she wanted a divorce. Then I asked what she did but she claimed she did not do anything. I asked her if her husband had a mental problem and she looked at me obviously shocked with the question. She said no. I asked her if she has ever heard or seen her husband slapped other females like his colleague or even her sister. She said no. So your husband woke up one morning looked at you and slapped you. She did not wait for me to explain as she called me a chauvinistic pig. After much discourse, she finally made me understand she had nagged and insulted him because he failed to keep to a promise of buying her a shoe.

Trust is not Love

Many females do not know the difference between trust and love. The story above indicates females' inability to love without trust. From my friend's story, that was the first time the man hit him and she was obviously shocked at his reaction. Since, I can not judge the man without hearing his own side of the story, I told her she was expected to love her hubby and trust God. Man is fallible, no matter how wonderful he appears and perfects himself to be. If females have it in the back of their mind that every man out there is not perfect, it will easier for them to transit issues flawlessly. They will commit their man to God, and confirm his strength not emphasize on his weakness. Jesus loved humans but did not commit himself to them because he knew they were weak.

Lack of Kingship

Most females lack Kingship; they fail to understand their rights to protect their relationship territory. God made man; male and female he made them. The first assignment he gave this male and female is to dominate their territory. Most females do not know their role as partner to their husband. They are expected to lift their families to God and bear the burdens of the relationship with the man. A girl is going out with a guy and she is praying for the guy to ask her hand in marriage instead of praying for the guy's solvency to life's issues like financial, political and social. She expects to be a liability instead of an asset to the man. She looks down upon herself and tells God that only this man can make her happy. If you pray for the man's success (not putting one leg out and one leg in), God will reward you with the man.

Commit to the Relationship

Females get overwhelmed by deep emotional turmoil so in order to free themselves; they look for the easy alternative which is to guard their heart from such pains. This alternative could easily be avoided if their perspective to relationship was different- commit to the relationship not to the man. The man is subject to change because he is human and it may be difficult to handle such evolution. You will be able to adapt to his new state of mind of the man, if you commit to the relationship instead of the man. An example is a man that looses his job and decides to drink as a solace to his problem. If you commit to the man, it will be difficult to pray for him without seeing him in the light of his present position. This nullifies your belief which is a prerequisite for answered prayers.

Lack of Purpose

Before a woman enters a committed relationship, she is expected to have a defined purpose which should align with the purpose of the proposed man. When a female has a purpose, it is easy to decipher your emotional weakness when choosing your life partner. If you base your relationship on an ephemeral stuff like the kind of car he drives, how good he is in bed or how tall he is, you will end up getting hurt after 2 years into that said relationship. Choose your partner based on purpose so you will have something to hinge on during crisis which is inevitable.

UNDESERVED BLESSINGS.

Tennis superstar Arthur Ashe died of AIDS, which he contracted after a blood transfusion during a heart surgery he had. More than a great athlete Ashe was a gentleman who inspired and encouraged many with his exemplary behaviour on and off the court.Ashe could have become embittered and self-pitying in the face of his disease, but he maintained a grateful attitude. He explained, “If I asked, Why me?. About my troubles I would have asked, Why me about my blessings. Why my winning Wimbledon?.Why my marrying a beautiful, gifted woman and having a wonderful child?”Ashes’ attitude rebukes those of us who often grumble,” Why me? Why is God allowing this to happen ?” Even if we are suffering acutely, we must not forget the mercies God pours into our lives-such things as food, shelter, and friends , blessings that many are deprived of.And what about spiritual Blessings? We can hold the very Word of God in our hands and read it. We have the knowledge of his saving grace, the comfort of his spirit and the joyful assurance of life everlasting with Jesus.

SHARING EACH OTHERS, TROUBLES

Johnny Cash recorded more than 1500 songs, had 14 number one hits, was awarded 11 Grammies and sold 50 million Albums. Much of the credit goes to his wife June, a committed Christian. At her Funeral Johnny’s daughter said: In her eyes there were only two kinds of people: those she knew and loved, and those she didn’t know and loved.She looked for the best in everyone; it was a way of life for her. If you pointed out that a particular person was perhaps not deserving of her love, she would say, ”Well honey just have to lift him up”. She was forever lifting people up. It took me a long time to understand that what she did when she lift you up ,was to mirror the very best parts of you back to yourself. She was like a spiritual detective; she saw into all your dark corners and deep recesses, saw your potential and the gifts you didn’t even know you possessed, and she lifted them up for you to see. She did it for all to see, daily continuously. But her great mission and passion was lifting up my Dad. If being a wife were a corporation June would have been a the CEO, It was her treasured role.She’d begin everyday by saying ,”What can I do for you John?” Her love filled up every room he was in and lightened every path he walked .Her devotion created a sacred exhilarating place for them to live out their married life .My daddy has lost his dearest companion, his musical counterpart, his soul-mate and best friend .That is the power of a great relationship.

Cupid’s double Edged Arrow.

The image that comes to our head, when its, mentioned is that of a charming little baby, with curly hair on it’s head, little cute wings ,probably dressed in white or in black(Although he has been around for a while, age is nit a reflective factor) and looking so really cute
And in it’s hands are what I will call “a life determinant” the bow and arrow it carries around has an effect of making the world go round at the same time it could make the world come to an End.
The power bestow on Cupid was to fire it’s arrow on anybody it choose to, and the result will be what people will see and they will say the person is in love. I would say Cupid’s Blessings is also it’s curse. No wonder when Sam Cooke sang his ever blazing “Cupid” song he was shot at the later part of his life. Most people don’t ever see the thorns that lies in the blossom of love.
Where do I start from now, this world has witness a lot of relationships ,and love gone sour ,a perfect example would be that between Bush and Osama Bin Laden, am sure that’s more recent. At first when Struck by the arrow, the feeling is good, I would say if most people should be asked what is the best feeling they have ever felt ,it will be that of love it makes you feel stupid but at the same time you are still good with it. The impression is quite good at first, the chocolate, the flowers ,nice words, poetry, I mean if you are not careful you might lose your head to it, even if you die in its course ,you will feel justified even though it’s not suppose to be so. That is love when the shot from Cupid’s arrow is still fresh and Clean, But months after, you will start seeing Fault in the one you love, that same person you would love to spend the rest of your life with, that same person that has been the reason you wake up every morning you will say to yourself ”I have a reason to live”. but it now turns to “I have a reason to die”.
What most people don’t know is that Cupid’s arrow was blessed at the same time cursed, what kind of arrow brings pleasure without bringing pain?People see only the good side of love, but they don’t talk of the opposite side,I would say the tree of love was also planted with that of hate,it grows along with it,remaining dormant till the right time when the law of diminishing returns sets in. Then that’s when love turn to hate, I mean its so crazy that couples don’t see it until they have gone deep into it before they realize what is happening. Ike and Tina Turnner never knew it would be like this ,before we knew it Tina was asking ,What’s love gat to do with it”. I tell you it has everything to do with it.
Some questions are rather left unanswered than answering them, but the real fact of the issue is never to let one’s head down, when you have to keep it up.Love to me ,I would say is the most complicated word in the whole world, I mean people say it, use it, without even knowing what its all about, you can say you love when you only want to have sex, but has a guy I might tell a girl I love her because of what am seeing, good body ,nice legs ,firm boobs ,and that Lips like Angelina Jolie. and she has great legs like Tina Turnner ,I could just dazzle her head a little bit, and after a month we start to date and we are having sex, I would do that for some months, then we brake up, is that love? But for that moment of dating, to the girl that world is nothing compare to what she is having, but before you know it, the only language they both will understand will be that curses and fights the Guy’s aim of having sex with her is achieved but it,s never seen that way. Love, it made Angelina Jolie had the tattoo of her famous love (Billy Bob Thorthon),and when it was all said and done, she said “Never have a man’s name tattooed on your body as I did”(Cosmopolitan October edition 2007 page 36)Is that advice not to fall in love? and if I may ask why is that people turn to be love advice experts after their crashed love affair .i mean everybody does except me(Hope I don’t fall in as much as I want to fall out).
All over world Cupids double edged arrow has re-shaped people’s life, some from good to bad, others bad to good,and some just stay on the same edge,Whitney Houston could have a second option before singing We have something in common with Ex-husband Bobby Brown(I guess they don’t any longer),and Jennifer Lopez wouldn,t have sang “Love don’t cost a thing” considering P.Diddy really flashed her good money and Ice,but is her relationship with Mark Anthony worth anything?.And so many good love stories come to unhappy, heart breaking ,rib-cracking end.But that is enough reason for us not to love again,after all life is nothing but a risk,and how much of that risk are you will to take is that question ,when would you stop learning?
I would say till the day,the breath in my lungs cease,till that that I would not be able to move my eye lids again, till my heart beat stop doing it,s function.Till then I would keep on the gospel of love,
Even if takes my life,I would know that am justified.
Cell-phones buzzes ,my ex-girlfriend is calling .But have you really consider the fact why Cupid and Stupid sound alike .Let me know.

My father and I

For some fathers, this may never be true. For others, the opportunity to become not just a good father, but a friend to your children, comes with time and the will to reach out to your children.
My father was a great parent when I was very little. I didn't see him much as he traveled extensively for work, but I remember so many fun times. My father taught me to play football (and how to let my baby sister win), to draw, to ride my first bike. He encouraged my love of reading, and taught me how to enjoy the theater. He smiled on my playing 'dress up', but also brought me Lego so I could learn how to 'engineer' a city. He instituted special 'daddy-daughter' days for my birthday, where we would spend the whole day together. When I was six, he took me to a restored chalk pit where there was also a painting gallery and wildflower trails. When I was seven, he took me to the Tower of London for the day.
This all changed as I grew older, and moved from small, cute kid, to difficult, shy preteen. I can't even remember when our relationship changed, but I do remember the misery of my teenage years: A man whom seemed interested only to yell, a man whom got frustrated by my difficulties understanding his 'help' with my math homework, and a girl who didn't understand her place in the world or how to stand up to the bullying she faced both at school, and, eventually, at home. The fights became constant: I could trigger my father with one ill-advised sentence, and the rage of his anger was frightening observe. What should have been considered normal teen rebellion was taken as ingratitude and something to be both punished and obliterated. Running away from home & locking my door became frequent themes, and the fights didn't cease as I became older and more opinionated, more determined to have my own independence.
At age 21, when I was finally old enough to receive government funding for my education without living at home, I moved into a friend's spare bedroom. I had to get away from my father, from the increasing fights which often involved the rest of the family, or even my friends when they objected to his treatment of me.
The fights still continued everytime I visited home: My father demanded my student tax credits one year, despite the fact he wasn't contributing to my education. When I refused, he threatened to ban me from my family home.
I thought I would never be able to have a good relationship with him, that we would never be able to be in each other's company without a fight. I was sure I hated him. I was sure I would never forgive him, especially when my sister was diagnosed with both anorexia and bulimia, the daughter whom my father had called 'fat' throughout her youth. I blamed him for the fact she was dying of starvation.
I blamed him despite him calling to tell me that she had agreed to be hospitalized. I thought he wanted my 'help', as he had every time before when my mom had been in the hospital or away: that he wanted my help while she was at the hospital with my sister.
But I was wrong. My father was, along with my baby' sister, falling apart. He was suddenly realizing how close he was to losing one of his daughters, before he had made any effort to know either of them as adults. He began to change slowly, as slowly as my sister's recovery and weight gain. As she gained in strength, he developed empathy.
The tyrant began to disappear: My father was concerned my sister was overspending her energy; he hovered constantly. He watched what she ate like a hawk, encouraging her to eat more food almost exactly as he had when she was a baby. He suggested family outings for the first time since I had turned 18, and when I visited, I was no longer met at the door with complaints about my behavior and attitude. After a weekend's holiday with my friends, we dropped by my parents' new house so I could give them a 'tour'. My father was polite and even joked with them. In the car on the way to my apartment, my best friend since age 12 turned said she could hardly relate him to the man he had been.
When I brought my boyfriend home for the first time, over a year ago, he was warm and welcoming, a direct contrast from the man whom had verbal fights with my previous boyfriends. When I lost my home in a fire three months ago, my father and mother invited my boyfriend and I to move in with them until we found a new home. He helped us pack up what we had salvaged, and then took us on outings' during our time living with him. He volunteered to move us into our new home. In short, he was no longer the man whom had terrorized me during my childhood with his temper and demands for perfection.
My father realized that his daughters were their own people, strong and worthy of love and respect, only when he was faced with losing one of them. In doing so, he opened up to us and reached out, regaining our trust and love, becoming mine & my sister's friend. He looks for jobs for me in the paper, he sends me funny emails. When I call, he wants to talk to me, to hear about my week. After 15 years of fighting, we are finally on the same team' again.
I am not yet sure I will ever fully respect my father, nor ever forget or fully forgive his treatment of my sister and I during our youths. What I can say now, however, is that my father is my friend, and that I love him dearly.
He has become a good father, and I have come to realize him as such, and that I need a father, 'even' at age 26. It is never too late to need a father, and therefore it is never too late for a father to become a loving support to his children, and worthy of the title "a good father".

Winning the war against terrorism

Despite the old adage that generals should never fight wars on two fronts, most wars (in varying degrees) are fought in just such a fashion. Even if the soldiers fighting the flesh and blood campaign are all in the same trench there is always another campaign being fought for the 'hearts and minds' of the folks back home. The current war against terrorism (there have been many) is no exception.
But folks back home have always needed victories to cheer them and ensure their continued support for a war, and there is one different and, perhaps, unique facet of this current war that may make it difficult to achieve any kind of victory, however we may want to define it: Our enemy doesn't exist in any tangible form.
What certainly IS tangible and beyond doubt is that we in the West are under threat. The attacks on the twin towers and on Bali, Madrid and London as well as on numerous western targets around the world are testament to that. We are at war with SOMEONE because someone is certainly at war with us.


However, our mysterious enemy is not obliging us by arranging his forces in serried ranks on a battlefield, at one under a flag. He knows no borders; He has no nationality (those who bombed the twin towers, Bali, Madrid and London were Saudi, Indonesian, Moroccan and British respectively) and he has no political requirements or demands. He simply wants our complete destruction. Whether that wish is a fanciful delusion remains to be seen but what is certain is that his weapon is terror and his banner is Islam.
Yet we are not at war with the Islamic World because most people in the Islamic World have no wish to be at war with US. It's a complex puzzle, frustrating and unsettling.
But why should our task be so complex? Terrorism, Guerrilla wars and insurgencies have been around for a long time; the Romans, 2,000 years ago, would wearily attest to that. But the guerrilla campaigns in the history books were almost exclusively about territory or political ideology. What our bygone terrorists/freedom fighters (depending on which side you were on) were saying was either "Get your colonial ass off our land" or "Get your communist/fascist ass out of the Presidential Palace".
The campaigns of old could be (and still are) brutal and prolonged but they were comprehensible. It was simply a matter of taking sides. We knew our enemies and we knew what they wanted.
This war on terror is a different matter. Our enemy is an irrational abstract, invisible and diaphanous. We can't really fight him with the weapons we have to hand so we do what humans have always done with abstracts: We replace them with symbols. That way we have something tangible to hold on to and to deal with, something to comprehend. The symbol we have created to replace our abstract enemy is: "Al Qaeda".
Whether it's a plot foiled in London or an atrocity committed in Baghdad the culprit will always be the same: "Al Qaeda". Our media love the term. It is a term that saves us from thinking about complexity and cause. It is a term that provokes the right images in our minds. It is a term that makes some sort of sense of our enemy. Yet it is a nonsense term and until we address the reality behind it we will simply be like Don Quixote tilting at windmills.
But the reality is bewildering. It is a matter of history, economic hardship, frustration, hopelessness, paranoia, jealousy and good old-fashioned angst. It is a matter of Saudi wealth and poverty in the back streets of Cairo. It is a matter of jobless young men in Morocco forced to seek money in a Europe they detest. It is a matter of young British Muslims unable to see a future in what they see as an alien and hostile society. It is a matter of all these things and much, much more.
What is also true is that those who have decided to fight the West are as guilty of replacing their complex (and very human) motivations with symbols as we are our fears. "Jihad" is perhaps as much a fantasy as the modern-day SPECTRE that is "Al Qaida". How much more easy it is to die for "Jihad" than it is to pointlessly throw away your life because of hopelessness and hatred.
Any victory in this war against terrorism will only come about when we are forced to face up to the fact that a significant amount of young Muslims blame us in the West for their problems. A victory will also only come about when the Islamic World takes a long, hard look at itself and faces up to its own shortcomings and stops blaming the "Great Satan" for its own ills. That victory is a long way off and the road to it seems endless.

ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO BE A GOOD FATHER.

Now that is if any damage has not been done to the fabrics of family-hood and if even done if it has affected its DNA and destroying its main structure. The role a father in a family is more than just more than providing the basic needs of the family and making babies ,he is the emotional financial spiritual and physical head of the family, all what goes on in the family still boils down to him ,being at the receiving end of the family's dirt. Well apart from that the I never had a promising father myself, he tried teaching me to be a man at an early age, giving me all the basic rules he tried so much it got to a point he started failing, not because he wanted to but because he thought he could only make me better, simply because I was the unimproved version of him, the inexperienced side of what he was, all he wants was to make me a better person that himself, allowing me to succeed where he failed, cross those bridges he failed to cross in life, but in the end I only became a mixed creature of hard lessons and tough love.

Whether good or not we of the male side of life human race will get to that stage one day when we will find ourselves as fathers to others ,when we play roles that conflict with our basic principles, when we have to try so hard we will end up bending those rules we think are unbreakable. The father tries so hard to get his little one to open up to him but its like each step he takes to reach the child, he drives him back to his mother's love or someone who he thinks can do better than the father. the child is now left with no option but to just see the man leaving with his mother not as his father but as just someone he thinks might be his father if only he tries harder .But is it ever too late to be a good dad. My father was someone I really respected, but I could not say that I loved him, I guess I loved him so much I feared him too much. I tried reaching out to my kids bit I guess the more I tried the more I get farer away from them I could remember the time I took Tom{my last son) to a basketball game as we were watching the game he kept looking at my face to see if I was really into the game as he was, but honestly I was far away from the game centre itself ,my boss gave me a query that day and the light of getting fired was shinning brightly at my face, tom saw it clearly I was not there with him, even though I was sitting beside him physically I was far away from him, I was in the middle of this when I heard the crowd shouting Tom's team just scored a point ,I then realised it was game over and he told me his team won, on our way home that night he only asked me two question that left me thinking through out the week, he ask "Dad where we you during the game" as if I was not with him but he I knew what he was saying .Days later he went out with a neighbour to see the finals of the game he got home smiling with a winning cap on his head jumping around I could only guess that his team won the game, he later came up to him and said "its good to see you waiting up for me" to him I think he just said it was good you were not at the game with me. His sister was trying to quit college and go to a fashion school in New-york I wanted her to be a Lawyer because really she's gat all what it takes to be a good Attorney but all she wants is to get into that fashion school that has become the foundations of her fantasy, she used to be my pretty plumy baby, but in just a night, a simple father-daughter argument turn out be a cold war between us, she woke the next morning to be my mother-in-law{did not really like her because she thought her daughter was too good for me},then I realised I am about losing my little baby to a law school she never wanted to attend, it now dawned on me that its better to have my way than to lose her to a world she's not prepared for, I had to bend my so called principles and allow her to get into her fashion school thank God i did what I did then I still have her love and trust till now. I guess my father would have been the millennium father I wanted him to be if the grim reaper had not reaped him off his family tree, now I guess it was too late for him to be a good father he was trying to be. But now as I journey through this path of life I would try my best to be that good image he was trying to be, he tried so hard I made him fail. But to me he never failed he wasn't just going to stop tying. But really is it ever too late to be good father?

Vampies

It's almost a day gone. And I can't say for once ,this is what I have done today, or accomplished, something like a rewarding task done. At times I feel my presence in this world, is like a burden on the world itself, something like an out of place object. Like I'm here for nothing. Colours and weather seems not to be friendly with me, my shadow at times even disagree with me. I wake up at night and ask God, if he has answers to my questions, but all I get is this deafening silence that does more damage to my brain than cancer. This is not living, neither is it fulfilling, just like an experiment, am just like a mouse being used to prove a theory. But if I may ask, do I really have to go through this everyday? why was I born into this world, when my duty to be in it is not even defined. God could have done better than featuring me in his latest horror flicks. But it's like am just a product of tricks being played by some heavenly being up there. Am I frustrated.

Enough of the wailing, I said to myself, what can I do to better my present situation. But how can you improve yourself when all the factors of life are not working with you. something like a grand conspiracy which I'm just unfortunate to be part of. I know it's not fair but what can I do, just have to keep playing the game till my time is up. Don't have to worry about blazing out in glory, or something like that, its one way out and one way in. Like a cattle bred for slaughter. Friends,what am I thinking, people like me don't have friends, we only have acquaintances, they only come and go, trying to see if you measure up to the friendship level. like if I have what it takes to stay in the "clique" thing. What if all these was a test of my real personality?, to see if can stand this on-going heat, if I can take charge of situations around me. I guess not, my addiction to the dark side had done me more favour, than been on the good side. If I could find my own salvation out of this place of pain, locate my own gateway to paradise. But I had this fling with paradise once, a beautiful lady, a passer-by just for no cause, she smiled at me .gosh it was heaven to me. That was just what I needed at that time, sort of refreshment. Till I exit out of this ghetto I will take that with me. And nobody, not even with all the sorrow in this world will deprive me of that. Then what would be my story? what do I tell my unborn seed's ,that I was just an actor playing his part, and the curtains are about to be pulled down on me, when the ovation is even at its minimal. No I tell them that I tried, but I wont stop trying, maybe I failed trying but I never stopped. I see people dressed in fancy suits and clothes, I pity them, because they try to cover so much sorrow, they suffocate themselves up in their fancy outfits. But me! I lived life, and I did not allow life to leave me instead, I had in all sorted out, in my own way. And when I'm gone it shall read on my tombstone," He had life figured out, he lived it out". That's out I want it, hope they that would find my body would be kind enough to have it that way. I'm just another hopeless, homeless man on the street. My home is not where my heart is, but where my heart would be when I'm gone .I'm just a closing page in this book called LIFE.

Death of a Parent

It was 2.45am.Woke up from a bad dream, and it seems all the weight of the world was going to crash on me. Having bad dream, that was something, seeing my father died in my dream, that was something else. And for once I was scared beyond limits. That was almost two weeks ago, forgetting the dream was going to do me some good. I gained admission into college and I started feeling good, but once in while the sense that something was about to be taken away from me, kept creeping upon me like a disease's, I had no idea of how it's going to be, but I know it's coming up on me fast, something like an hurricane. The last time I heard, Dad was still doing fine. As healthy as a horse. Learning was going on fine, I was about writing a test, when the urge to go home came on, well I had to, and I did. Got home and Dad was still doing fine, mom was out of town to see her Sister. We got talking and has he talked, I kept looking at him, like this was going to be our last talk.


We all slept that night, after a nice meal my sister helped preparing. Went to my room, prayed and slept. Mom came back, before I woke up the next morning. Collected some money from Dad, dropped me at the park, and I was off to school. He said good-bye and I thought it was going to be forever. Well it wasn't. The semester was over, and I went home. Dad was still around. I felt I was going crazy like I wanted him Dead. Something tells me, I was going to be the end of him. Maybe I'm being over-protective. And the though of him dead is something, I can't live with. Friday was my Birthday, it wasn't that big, just the family and few friends around, Ann was around, a girl I was asking out. For once I had forgotten of my wired behavior, it was like mom noticed it too. Hope she wasn't hiding anything. It was during the dance, suddenly Dad slumped into the ground. That was it. Doctors said, his health has been failing for a while now, he wasn't trying to get his family worried. I think that was selfish of him. Come to think of it, I was trying to protect someone, who knew his game was over. That night I was at the hospital with him .Drips all over him, with so other wires, whose destination into his body I cant say where. Relatives and friends came over, seeing them got him back on the track. We all though he will be getting out soon. Doctors confirmed it. My fears debugged the fact, that he will be coming home. I guess not. I was suppose to get something in school, and come back the next day. Got a phone call from my brother. The old man just left the building. Arrived home that night ,went straight to see Mom in her room, she was weak, I guess the amount of tears that left her body made her weak, a part of Dad also left with them. The Funeral ceremony was not that much, he wanted it that way. Still I hadn't shed a tear, but it all came flooding when he was being lowered into his final resting abode. I felt a sense of deja-vu then. My nightmare was now my reality. His death made me worse than I was, at the same time made a better person. At times I wondered could I have stopped him from falling off this world Into his present dark place. No I guess it was meant to be. The huge space he left, could never be filled. Mom was trying to be strong. I hope she is not trying too much. It's been a year now. And at the one-year anniversary I felt he could have saved himself if only he wanted to .But then I realized he gave up on living before .he gave up the ghost. Now I all could think about him was why did he do it .I don't even get to see him in my dreams, like my other siblings do .I guess he is trying to see enough for me. He is gone physically. But I still believe he is still with me. Only wished I never had that dream, that I never slept that night. And more important .He did not gave up on his family. Guess it was meant to be. His death gave me a new meaning to Life.

Dromen

Dromen, volgens de Oxford Leerlingen Woordenboek, Vooraf kunnen als een serie van gebeurtenissen, beeld gedefinieerd worden en gevoelens, dat gebeurt in uw geest terwijl slapend: of een staat van geest of toestand in welke dingen kan niet schijnt gedefinieerd worden Reaal te zijn. Naar mij een droom, is slechts een deel van ons tweede leven. iets houdt van het inactieve deel van ons leven, wij activeren enkel hem, wanneer wij slapen. Een plaats waar wij ontsnappen naar, van alle problemen van deze wereld, die niet is echt vreedzaam te zeggen, omdat onze nachtmerries nog steeds de de plaats van vlek op met het lelijke kleur zijn en maken de plaats, een plaats van gruwel en tegelijkertijd, ons weinig veilig verblijf. Maar indien wij enkel ons opmerkzaam hulpbronnen recht kunnen leiden, zouden wij het best gebruik van onze Dromen misschien kunnen maken. Dromen kunnen het hoogste punt in ons leeft Een plaats zijn waar onze hoop en visioenen een betere kans van het overleven staan. Een kans van was gerealiseerd en exploiteren. Dromen zijn geestelijk geneigd, een kleine fractie van onze dromen gaat een lange weg in hermodelleer ons leeft hier op aarde. Als een noodzakelijke middelen naar een einde zijn dromen noodzakelijk naar leven. Een man die niet droomt, leeft niet. Zo''n een man kan dodene enkel niet klinisch beschouwd worden. In een droom kan u die dingen doen die u in de echte wereld Een plaats waar u niet kan kunnen doen kunnen zetten uw tekens en kunnen een onmogelijke hoogte van prestatie. bereiken En tegelijkertijd, dromen kunnen als handelen van bestanddelen gezien worden die het leven van een man scherpen. Kijk eens naar het Bijbelse Teken van Joseph" de dromer" een man die zijn eigen lot in zijn handen door zijn dromen nam, hij regeerde zijn volledige familie, werd hij ingelijst, sloot in een gevangenis, daar hij op ontmoette twee van de best dienst mannen van Farao, zijn butler en zijn bakker, daar hij herdefinieert het leven van de twee mannen. En ook zag zijn weg om op de Eerste minister van de Egypte provincie te zijn. De soort van dromen u heb, stel vast wat u van houdt zou zijn alsof, het alsof een proloog naar een boek is, dat legt welke een zou moeten verwachten in het boek uit en Zou Moeten Definiëren dat het stijl is en stel tevreden. Geweldige Oorlogsheren zoals Alexzendra het Geweldige, Adolf Hitler, Julius Caesar dromen heeft gehad die hun getroffen hebben leven, positief of negatief ofwel aanmoedigende hen naar handtas ofwel verlaten hun campagne. Ook revolutionaire leiders hebben hun aandeel van de illusioned wereld ook, zoals van Malcolm X, de Huiszwaluw Luther Koning jr, Winston Churchill en de rust gehad. De macht binnen een droom, zou niet moeten onderschat worden, omdat het ware feit over dromen dat is, zij stellen vast dat u in leven. Alfred Tennyson zult gaan zei dat" Dromen waar zijn terwijl zij duren en hoe veel niet wij in dromen leven"? . Dit uitlegt de luxe die een geniet van in de droomwereld, waar u wat dan ook u zijn kan, wens te zijn, de President van de Verenigde Staten, de Britse premier, een drugheer. Maar alle deze is slechts enkel waar terwijl zij duren, omdat echt wij leven in dromen, het slechts een tijdelijke illusioned wereld. niet is En voor u hem weet, u bent terug naar de zelfde wereld zelfde positie u was. Sean, een achttien jaar oude jongen, geboren en verhoogde op de wilde zijde van Brooklyn New York heeft hem iedereen gehad die van verwaarlozing als een zuigeling, naar kinderhinder, gegegekoppte wordt te misbruiken van een gebroken familie die naar ontbering van de basisbestanddelen van levensonderhoud gegegekoppte wordt. gegegekoppte met het feit die opvoeding schijnt gene plaats voor hem in haar onderwijsprogramma te hebben. De ouders waren zelfs naar arm om dat opvoeding te beseffen en De gezondheid is noodzakelijk. Hij beweeg in de straat,. werd een bende lid en een drugsleurder. Goed de straten, zich heeft zijn eigen weg van bevrijd te worden daarvan is onnodige onddelen, werd gearresteerd en verstuurd. de laatste hoop voor een beter morgen. zijn mamma werd schoongemaakt medicijnen gevangen te nemen en verzoende met de echtgenoot, kreeg een betere baan en plotseling dingen werden beter in het huis. Enkel dat hij niet daar was om hem te zien gebeurt. Zo dat wat hij deed dat, elke keer hij was wil zijn aandeel van het nieuwe geluk thuis, hij slaapt hebben en dromen van het. wanneer gevraagde waarom hij zo dat veel slaapt, hij zei dat "bijgevolg dat ik met mijn familie aan wanneer dan ook ik kan ontsnappen en zijn wens naar" hij zelfs aan tijden beschrijft gebeurtenissen thuis. Dit aan tijden bevestigt wat verder aan zijn huis ga. Arme Sean maakte nooit hem steunt huis, werd hij in de badkamer, door een rivaliserend bende lid, slechts drie dagen neergestoken naar wanneer hij vrijgegeven zal worden. Op zijn stervend bed aan het ziekenhuis, glimlachte hij en vertelde zijn mamma, die zij nog steeds kan laten hem steunen wanneer dan ook zij wil, Maar enkel In haar DROMEN

Durma e desempenho acadêmico

Тем утром, когда я пробуждался, я чувствовал, что часть собиралась оставлять меня, но я не мог действительно выяснять то, чем это собирается быть, но я знаю, что это прибывает, как это собирается поражать меня и когда и где - вопрос. Но я знаю, что это - кое-что плохо. Получил мой пакет сумки и был прочь, чтобы работать, очень теплое, имеют ли, осколок птиц, живя жизнью как они это, прохладный бриз, хлопающий мое лицо ни без какой боли, и синие облака, кажется, оплакивают мою неудачу, чтобы прибыть. хорошо игнорируя все тени того, что я чувствую, что это собирается сбивать меня, но что я не понимаю, я добрался, чтобы работать и первый взгляд, который я получил от моего женского босса, походил "на Вас спускающийся по утечке Shawn", я надеюсь, что взгляд не был в результате нашего последнего, бросаются, хорошо я пробовал быть, что тот нечувствительный парень, который только нуждается в сексе как новый рожденный ребенок, нуждается в молоке, я только пробовал сказать ей, что наши короткие отношения собирались быть свободным типом вереницы, не прилагая большие эмоции и прибыль. Позже я был в состоянии овладеть мной и мной работа старта, должен был защитить счет на некоторого богатого Клиента, который я думал, не дает проклятое о моем резюме о том, насколько хороший я, не говорить о факте, что я был то, что парень с волшебством заходит в офис, женщины достали, богатые жирные женщины в ней в начале шестидесятых, пахнущий как старая тратта с платежом в долларах. Целая защита оказалась хорошей, это походит на добавление достаточного количества соуса к булочке с начинкой, это только дает Вам правильное чувство, хорошо это в стороне, мой смысл де-javu был все еще там. Уберите остальную часть моих бумаг, тогда я решил не пойти, чтобы завтракать, и я пошел, чтобы проверить старого приятеля, который имеет книжный магазин вниз улица, это было давно, я приехал сюда, я знаю это, прогулки стороны, кажется, сердитый во мне, обвиняя меня в том, чтобы не быть тем заботящимся парнем, которым я был, к несчастью для меня, мой старый приятель сказал ту же самую вещь также, Декан становился старше, что его возраст, который я предполагаю, он имел выключатель его жизнь с его книгами, потому что они выглядели чистыми и хрустящими, не игнорируя запах, который идет со старостью, и инертностью, оставил его место в небольшой спешке, чтобы возвратиться, чтобы работать, почти споткнулся старая леди, которая похожа на мою маму, (Бог благословляют ее душу), .My, отдых дня на работе был примерно моим столом и мной, Энн, мой помощник был только капризен обо дне, Бог знает то, чем история будет сегодня, таким образом я не потрудился спрашивать ее, она ощущала что также и увеличение вина того, чтобы не быть заботящимся на ее лице. Мой счет в банке собирается быть следующей головной болью, я получил примечание от задней части, истекающая дата моей ссуды прибывала весьма ближе, что я думал. Оставленный работу и возвращался домой, решенный, чтобы не взять поезд, из-за последних недель, поезд бомбы нападают, .The автобус прибывал поздно, таким образом я решил ждать, затем я все еще задавался вопросом, собирался ли я получать mugged или выстрел, мой день не собирался заканчиваться как это, кое-что, что это все еще собирается случаться. видел, что некоторые люди собрались в лотерейном магазине, никогда не верил в материал, это был способ правительства заставить нас напряженно трудиться и не думать о проблемах, подошедших на нас. Я позже присоединился к ним, та же самая старая леди, я почти споткнулся, была там, так был Декан, мой помощник и последний человек, я мог вообразить меня целым миром, моим красивым нахальным ближайшим соседом, я играл лотерею, и я выиграл 100.000 $. Так наконец я сделал так, чтобы это натолкнулось на меня наконец, Это был мой удачливый день, ничего себе, никогда не знал, хорошие вещи входят в уродливые пакеты, хорошо я возвращался домой и установил меня к красивой пище. Будильник был настолько громок, я должен был только повернуться и пробудиться,тогда я понял, что это была только мечта. Тогда я понял, как ho бедные и неудачный я был то, прежде, чем я ложился спать вчера вечером,

Does love live here anymore?

When people say they are in love i just look at them and laugh,why?i think fate and love has dealth with me so baD that i can,t believe in it,s doctrine anymore.i once had it all,money,a good job and a dashing handsome Guy who i believed then loved me.Till i woke one day to find out that he was just using me like a rag,to get rid of his past. it was late April,when i met joe,we had it all.its was like all the fun and love on earth outrightly belongs to us.till he started behaving funny,well i thought it was just because i have been giving him too much of what he was hoping to share with me for the rest of our lives. Then he brought the heavy bomb on me,when we broke up.I was lost,hoping never to be found again.I see people around me falling in love,and i telling them ,they are in boundage.Then i came to the conclusion that there is nothing as love. And i ask myself,does love still exists?No will be my answer,until maybe if i get saved my that has left me dead.

Vampires,The Tom Johnson Story

It was just like every other night. work was quite stress full, my boss had told me to take a vacation, I had been acting strange .I know, maybe it was the note that I got from my wife, that had me upset, she just filled for a divorce I really saw it coming marriage had been a vow I wasn’t trying to keep .All along I had this strange dawn trying to cover like a the early morning sun, it got worse when I was at the club two nights ago, me and some friends went in to get some drink, and there she was, at a far corner, east side of the room, I could not see her face but something telling me that she is my deliverer, from what? if I may asking, but the question were not coming, all I could ever think of is that am I her chosen one? All this left me hanging at a cliff top ,I wasn’t afraid of falling, or dying either, I was afraid of change, how long am I going to be trapped in this cage? am letting myself in or .I’m just a willing captive who thinks bondage is necessary. As I left work that night, I took a bus straight home, thank God I wasn’t late for the bus this time .The young man sitting beside has a garlic stink oozing out from his nostrils, he looks careless and weak ,the lady at the other sit was with her headphones on a Rock fanatic I could guess her hairdo speaks it loud. I alighted from the bus, I had arrived at my destination, having a feeling it was my final destination. Another feeling was telling me that I have just started a journey into the unknown. It was really dark, and I was a meters away from the house, then it was more of a felling, then I realised it was really happening ,just like a dream coming true, there she was standing with some people, her own kind of park I could say, the moon was up there having its fun, trying to mock me I guess, shinning so bright it could light up the world. Then I realised the change has come, she came up to me, she smiled ,and there I knew it was not a myth, her eyes were brighter than the sun, her teeth, sharper and looking so fierce like an African warrior ready for battle. Her body was something I had dreamed about wanting it with all fear in me, she was the outcaste of the night, she was my fear, my hope to a better place, my destruction ,my paradise, my change. Her other cronies were all over the place, running wild ,waiting fro her to say something. She was a vampire. But why me? She turned to me, looking at me as a lover will look at her beloved, ”you have always dreamed about me, wanting me,” she said then I knew she was the cause of my problems. Then all life from childhood to this my present state of horror and disarray flashed like a lighting I knew it was more then me, something like a responsibility I wasn’t willing to accept. She came closer and smiled at me I was enchanted by her mere closeness,I felt a deep sweet sharp pain at the left side of my neck, my jugular vein point to be precise. Then that was all I went blank. I woke in a uncivilised environment, sort of a dark palace cave, I was sitting on a chair that represents something of a higher position ,clothed in a funny black regalia, I felt strong and funny ,a little bit itchy, there she was sitting beside me, looking accomplished, like a groom, whose bride has just returned home. Standing in my was the whole park, looking happy. there lost king is back home. She smiled at me, “welcome my prince” she said, then I knew my coming to this place of no definition was an anticipated one. Then I went blank again. I woke up in my room by my Mickey mouse alarm, almost late for work, I got dressed for work in a hurry, I was about boarding the bus, then I had this strong feeling ,like in my dream I saw her passing by, smiling at me. I touched my neck and I realised it wasn’t a dream.

How to recover from a Broken Heart

you have a headache, you get to use drugs that can take care of the headache, if u have a terrible toothache you might use some pain-killers and they will do the magic. What do you get to use when suffering from a broken heart? That’s rhetorical as theirs really nothing useful, the truth about this is that, broken hearts never do heal up completely, it might seem not to be there but looking at it closely it exists, the scars are more terrible than the cursed scar Voldermont left on Harry’s head. Apart from the fact that you can get to find someone who can talk you out of the pains of a broken heart, it’s really a long way in getting your heart mended. Ken my buddy didn’t recover well the last time his 3-year relationship with Eunice went to the knackers, because he declined getting a bigger apartment, ken at times had to hide his caller identity whilst calling her up just to hear her voice or if lucky the answering machine does the job, it got to a point I had to wade into the matter because he was almost losing it then. Find peace within yourself, that’s the first step to take if you want to get to the recovery terminal, forget about your ex-(even if still feel their warmth)try and see beauty in everything around you, believe she left you good because someone better is coming your way. Get yourself to start something new, go for a workout class, explore yoga, join a book reading club, anything positive in nature that will keep you busy and at the same time giving you a chance to discover your inner-self. Exploit something that will bring tranquillity to your being, it’ll help you a lot because you have to find peace within yourself before you can relate and mix well with people successfully. See her as a friend. The funniest language in this world is coincidence, I don’t really know how it happens but its just happens, you keep seeing those people you really don’t want to see, or people you are trying to avoid, and it’s a times in unpleasant situations, meeting them in Bus-stops, trapped in jammed Elevators, at the mall and other places you have no choice but to exchange pleasantries, and really it will be so immature of you to see her and ignore her, especially if she is with someone, she’s going tell your successor that you are still that baby who refuses to grow up, rather than a vendetta, initiate a hug followed by pleasantries. Get introduced to her date and maintain calmness (even though in pretence) but maintain your composure all the way and try not to lose it. Once you can achieve this, then you are ready to date someone provided you are willing to, or would you prefer to still mourn your ex who is busy getting her groove on with some other Romeo. This next approach is really tough, but as tough as it’s effective. Don’t go about changing the pictures, the furniture’s, your bed sheets and stuffs you know will remind you of her, because really their absence will create more damage than just a broken heart, instead polish and utilize them optimally. The fact that she left you doesn’t mean she has to take your personal belongings with her, they are yours. It’s the spirit of Hatred that will make your change your stuffs, so I say let them stay. Make yourself feel good, don’t go about feeling sad and blue because she left you, the world is out there waiting for someone like you to take it on, don’t let her close the door on your face instead leave the door open and let someone special walk in through that door, don’t sit at home gazing an brooding over old pictures, and videos, instead you should be out there taking new pictures and making new videos, you never know MTV or the paparazzi might hire you. And what I will consider the last step; is you start seeing other people, because really you don’t expect her to stay single for life because of you. See old friends, relatives’, college mates and even make new ones. Move around, visit interesting places, there a lot of beautiful ladies out there wondering who will take them home (to mama that is). So why not take another chance and give it a good shot while you’re at it?

Sex and Sexy

I have always wondered on the reasons why a lady has to be beautiful at all cost, flaunting so many attractive features and must always have sex appeal to be seen as a woman, or else she could as well not exist at all or exist as an insignificant 3rd creature created after man and woman. Why should a woman carry this sex thing with her, wherever she goes its not that a man’s mind is deprived at what he sees, he’s just reacting to what he sees "wow you look like a girl I can take home to Mama" he was just trying to be polite he actually meant "…take to the bed". I could accept to the fact that some men could be excessive in rising to the occasion upon sighting a female but what it is, is that, should they be proud of it and flaunt it big time or be proud of it then flaunt it with caution or should they be ashamed of exhuming feminity or sex appeal?. As a proponent of feminty, I will want to define the feminine sexual appeal without depreciating morally. I want to see sex appeal as part of God’s good gift to man and also as a way of life, where women are allowed to spice up their day, be proud of their body, feel comfortable with what they wear without sending out the wrong signals. The issue of sex is a function of the female’s sex appeal, which is because of her sexual awakening. It is something like a call to duty or like a soldier called up to war. ladies rise to the occasion when it comes to flaunting their sex appeal thereby creating an abstract view of what sex might be even though the act itself has not taken place. "Look, its everywhere you see them flaunting the boobs, exposing enough cleavage to be called breast. Swinging those hips in such a way a blind man could hear them talk, exposing their pant and thongs with little or no clothe with it, wearing erotically inclined colognes and perfumes strong enough to make a man jerk off. All this gang on what lies at the bottom heart of those at the receiving ends (MEN) is sex, sex, sex… The final act that fulfill all his hopes and dreams the act that gives the final definition of what a woman’s true sexual appeal is. Men don’t see what the true essence of what sexual appeal is in a woman, they only want to have a taste of those components that builds up the whole essence of womanhood. He sees the true sex appeal in having sex with the woman in bed, the groans and moans, the sucking, licking, biting, sweat and the final outburst of his accumulated input or frustration he has endured for long by the hands of the woman. But really I don’t think its time to differentiate between sex and sex appeal. One should be seen as the exposure celebration of the essence of feminity while the other that explains the act of love showing appreciation to the right one at the right time for the right people (married people). And not otherwise, its time to see a lady walking by looking all sexy and funky to be appreciated and not to be devoured by the lusting eyes of men standing by who have already pictured her in bed with her legs wide apart screaming in so many unheard languages. And ladies please let’s celebrate the true essence of female sex appeal with a sense of modesty and not sticking "playboy images" directly to the faces of men saying "take me, take me I want it". But what it should be saying is that "if you want it, you have to respect it, respect it, love it to earn it. And to all randy men outside I would say "don touch it, leave it. And to the ladies outside there flaunt it".

Before I Sleep

That morning when I woke up, I felt a part was about to leave me, but I could not really figure out what it’s going to be ,but I know it’s coming how it’s going to hit me and when and where is the question.But i know it''s something bad. Got my bag pack and was off to work, a very warm whether, birds chipping, living life like they own it, cool breeze slapping my face without no pain, and the blue clouds seems to be mourning my misfortune to come. well ignoring all shadows of what I feel it’s going to bring me down, but that I don’t understand, I got to work and the first look I got from my female boss, was like "you going down the drain Shawn" I hope the look wasn’t as a result of our last fling, well I was trying to be that that insensitive guy, who just needs sex like a new born baby needs milk, I was just trying to tell her our short relationship was going to be a loose string type, not attaching much emotions and gains. Later I was able to get hold of myself and I starting working, had to defend an account for some rich Client, who I thought doesn’t give a damn about my resume of how good I am, not to talk of the fact that I was that guy with the magic touch at the office, the women came by, a rich fat women in her early sixties, smelling like a old dollar bill. The whole defence turned out good ,it’s like adding enough sauce to burger, it just gives you the right feeling, well that aside my sense of de-javu was still there. Tidy up the rest of my papers, then I decided not to go to lunch and I went to check up an old pal, who owns a bookshop down the street, it’s been long since I came down here, I know it, the side walks seems to be angry at me, accusing me of not being that caring guy I was, unluckily for me my old pal said the same thing too ,Dean was getting older that his age I guess, he had switch his life with his books, because they looked clean and crispy, not ignoring the smell that comes with old age ,and stagnancy, left his place in a little hurry to get back to work, almost tripped on an old lady that looks like my mom,(God bless her soul).My rest of the day at work was just about my desk and me, Ann my assistant was just moody about the day, God knows what the story will be today, so I did not bother to ask her, she sensed that too and increase the guilt of not being caring on her face. My bank account is going to be next headache, I got a note from the back, the expiring date of my loan was coming quite closer that I thought. Left work and was going back home, decided not to take the train ,because of last-weeks, bomb train attack .The bus was coming late so I decided to wait, then I was still wondering if I was going to get mugged or shot, my day was not going to end like this ,something it’s still going to happen. saw some people gathering at a lottery shop, never did believe in the stuff, it was the government’s way of keeping us busy and not thinking about the problems coming up on us. I later joined them, the same old lady I nearly tripped on was there, so was Dean, my assistant and the last person I could imagine I the whole world, my beautiful sassy next door neighbour, I played the lottery and I won $100.000. So finally I had it come upon me finally, It was my lucky day, wow, never knew, good things come in ugly packages, well I got home and fixed myself to a beautiful meal. The alarm clock was so loud I had to just turn and wake up ,then I realized it was just a dream. Then I realized how ho poor and unlucky I had been before I went to bed last night, That morning when I woke up, I felt a part was about to leave me, but I could not really figure out what it’s going to be ,but I know it’s coming how it’s going to hit me and when and where is the question.But i know it''s something bad. Got my bag pack and was off to work, a very warm whether, birds chipping, living life like they own it, cool breeze slapping my face without no pain, and the blue clouds seems to be mourning my misfortune to come. well ignoring all shadows of what I feel it’s going to bring me down, but that I don’t understand, I got to work and the first look I got from my female boss, was like "you going down the drain Shawn" I hope the look wasn’t as a result of our last fling, well I was trying to be that that insensitive guy, who just needs sex like a new born baby needs milk, I was just trying to tell her our short relationship was going to be a loose string type, not attaching much emotions and gains. Later I was able to get hold of myself and I starting working, had to defend an account for some rich Client, who I thought doesn’t give a damn about my resume of how good I am, not to talk of the fact that I was that guy with the magic touch at the office, the women came by, a rich fat women in her early sixties, smelling like a old dollar bill. The whole defence turned out good ,it’s like adding enough sauce to burger, it just gives you the right feeling, well that aside my sense of de-javu was still there. Tidy up the rest of my papers, then I decided not to go to lunch and I went to check up an old pal, who owns a bookshop down the street, it’s been long since I came down here, I know it, the side walks seems to be angry at me, accusing me of not being that caring guy I was, unluckily for me my old pal said the same thing too ,Dean was getting older that his age I guess, he had switch his life with his books, because they looked clean and crispy, not ignoring the smell that comes with old age ,and stagnancy, left his place in a little hurry to get back to work, almost tripped on an old lady that looks like my mom,(God bless her soul).My rest of the day at work was just about my desk and me, Ann my assistant was just moody about the day, God knows what the story will be today, so I did not bother to ask her, she sensed that too and increase the guilt of not being caring on her face. My bank account is going to be next headache, I got a note from the bank, the expiring date of my loan was coming quite closer that I thought. Left work and was going back home, decided not to take the train ,because of last-weeks, bomb train attack .The bus was coming late so I decided to wait, then I was still wondering if I was going to get mugged or shot, my day was not going to end like this ,something it’s still going to happen. saw some people gathering at a lottery shop, never did believe in the stuff, it was the government’s way of keeping us busy and not thinking about the problems coming up on us. I later joined them, the same old lady I nearly tripped on was there, so was Dean, my assistant and the last person I could imagine I the whole world, my beautiful sassy next door neighbour, I played the lottery and I won $100.000. So finally I had it come upon me finally, It was my lucky day, wow, never knew, good things come in ugly packages, well I got home and fixed myself to a beautiful meal. The alarm clock was so loud I had to just turn and wake up ,then I realized it was just a dream. Then I realized how poor and unlucky I had been before I went to bed last night,

Dreams

Dreams, according to the Oxford Advance Learners Dictionary, can be defined as a series of events, images ,and feelings ,that happen in your mind while asleep: or a state of mind or situation in which things do not seems to be real. To me a dream, is just a part of our second life. something like the inactive part of our life, we only activate it, when we sleep. A place where we escape to, from all the troubles of these world, not really peaceful to say, because our nightmares still’s stain’s the place up with it’s ugly colour, making the place, a place of horror, and at the same time, our little safe abode. But if we can only channel our mindful resources right, we might be able to make the best use of our dreams. Dreams can be the highest point in our lives A place where our hopes and visions stand a better chance of surviving .A chance of been realized and exploited. Dreams are spiritually inclined, a small fraction of our dreams goes a long way in re-shaping our lives here on earth. As a necessary means to an end, dreams are necessary to life .A man who does not Dream is not living. Such a man can be considered dead only not clinically. In a dream you can do those things you can’t get to do in the real world A place where you can set your marks, and reach an impossible height of achievement .And at the same time, dreams can be seen as acting ingredients that sharpens a man’s life. Take a look at the Biblical Character of Joseph” the dreamer” a man who took his own destiny into his hands through his dreams, he ruled his entire family, he was framed ,locked up in a prison, there he encountered two of Pharaoh’s best service men, his butler and his baker, there he re-defined the two men’s life. And also saw his way up to be the Prime minister of the Egypt province. The kind of dreams you have, determine what you like would be like ,it’s like a prologue to a book, that explains what one should expect in the book, Defining it’s style and content. Great War lords like Alexzendra the Great, Adolf Hitler, Julius Caesar have had dreams that have affected their lives, positively or negatively either encouraging them to purse or abandon their campaign. Also revolutionary leaders have had their share of the illusioned world too, like of Malcolm X ,Martin Luther King Jr, Winston Churchill and the rest. The power within a dream ,should not be underestimated, because the true fact about dreams is that ,they determine how much you will be going in life .Alfred Tennyson said ”Dreams are true while they last ,and do not we live in dreams?” .This explains the luxury one enjoys in the dream world, where you can be whatever you wish to be, the President of the United States, the British Prime Minister, a drug lord. But all these are just only true while they last, because really we don’t live in dreams, it’s just a temporary illusioned world .And before you know it, you are back to the same world same position you were. Sean ,a eighteen year old boy, born and raised on the wild side of Brooklyn New-York has had it all ,from neglect as an infant, to child molestation ,to abuse from a broken family, to deprivation of the basic ingredients of livelihood .coupled with the fact that education seems not to have a place for him in her curriculum .The parents were even to poor to realise that education and good health is necessary. He moved into the street, .became a gang member and a drug peddler. Well the streets, itself has its own way of getting rid of it’s unnecessary elements, got arrested and sent off to jail .the last hope for a better tomorrow. his mom got cleaned off drugs, and reconciled with the husband ,got a better job, and suddenly things were getting better in the house. Only that he was not there to see it happen. So what he did was that, each time he wants to have his share of the new happiness at home, he sleeps and dreams of it. when asked why he sleeps so much, he said “so that I can escape and be with my family at anytime I wish to ”he even at times describes happenings at home. This at times confirms what is going on at his house. Poor Sean never made it back home, he was stabbed in the bathroom , by a rival gang member, just three days to when he will be getting released. On his dying bed at the hospital, he smiled and told his mom, that she can still have him back anytime she wants, But only In her DREAMS.